My New Idea

I want to work at DoSomething.org. They havent contacted me yet. Make everyone on facebook rally around my cause so they have to recognize it. So if you have Facebook please like this page and help me get that Job I dream of.

http://www.facebook.com/pages/2000-strong-for-Chaim-to-Work-at-DoSomethingorg/207473672604035

Sincerely

Chaim G

A new home

I found a new place I want to live next year. Its called the Bayit and it is a part of the columbia/barnard hillel. It is a brownstone with 28 people in it and it operates like a kibutz (yes there are girls in kibutzis also). Everyone has toranut once a week and you are required once a month to cook dinner for the entire Bayit. You pay money to the Kupah once a month for food, maintenance, internet... and everything else is taken care of. OH Yeah, the best part, I heard they throw sick parties. I heard all about it on Friday night by my meal at my friend Matt and Elyssa's and Elyssa had a friend over from Barnard (I dont think so shiach (she lives in the bayit (Elyssa never lived in the bayit))). SO that is where I want to live next year.

Or maybe Ill just make one for YU and Stern.

Umbrella Running - A new sport

Whenever it is raining you see how many different peoples umbrellas you can walk under. You get ten points for every umbrella you go under. 20 points if the person is a "local" and 30 points if it is a couple. You get no points for the first three steps and 5 points for every extra step after that. The winner is the one with the most points by the time it stops raining. Let the battle begin.


Yaniv Lautmans ha'arah - "It is like when you go ice skating and you go in between the couples hands"

Bathroom Bump In

I went to the NY philharmonic today (If anyone wants a good nap go to the NY Philharmonic). I came late listened to the first piece and then was intermission (I love a good Intermission). I got up. Stretched my first. Went to pee (the line was huge, old people have to use the bathroom a lot) and saw Rabbi Friedman from DRS. Oh a pleasant surprise.

Oops

I was waiting in line to get onto the shuttle (the most degrading experience YU has to offer) and all the girls were piling out. Then all of a sudden one took a dive. I froze. I didnt know what to do. She was there lying at my feet and I just went and grabbed her bag that was lying next to her. SHe gets up brushes off her skirt turns to me and says "I think thats my bag". I responded "are you OK". SHe said yes but she just wants her bag back. I gave it back. Yes, the situation was that awkward.

ORC: The Organization for the Resolution of Chavrutot

Maintaining a happy and healthy chavrusa takes more effort than one can even imagine. As much preparation as you can do beforehand, nothing can prepare you for the real thing. But sometimes after all the effort it still doesnt work out. So you must end it. It is hard on both sides but the worst, the worst, is when your other half cant take the news. After having a long winded conversation how you two are just not "meant to be" he says he understands but the next morning he still comes back and sits across from you. NExt thing you know he is asking you questions and pretending your still chavrusas even though you broke up yesterday. Thats when ORC gets involved. We go and picket outside his dormroom telling him "its over" and to "let him go". Sometimes its the only way. (this can also be a great movie idea starting out with confessionals then going into some protest scenes)

PS - I have a heart, ORA is a great organization and if anyone has extra mayser money its a great place to send it.

New blog slogan: Me shenichnas "our blog" marbim besimcha

I'm short

Im 5-7 (maybe 5-6 and a half). I had to get a book from the top shelf in the library (it wasnt so high). I tried the tippy toe thing which worked out great until the book fell on my head (mamish like a fall on my head). Thank G-d no one realized but I had to swallow my pride and use one of those stupid library step stools (which for some reason our grandmother has). But maybe in an adam newton moment i realized what I want to do next year. I should be a YU librarian. I could hang out with all my friends in the library, make money, and not have to attend classes. Does anyone know how to apply for the position?

PS - Im working in the heights lounge without a shirt on (its very hot) so if anyone wants to see a nice pair of wool tzitzis, front left corner.

Waiting at Apple

I went to go get a new apple charger today (yes you can go to apple stores not on a date). They were running a half an hour behind schedule so what better way to kill time then blogging. BH everything has been great in my life (besides for dating and looking for a job). (did you know they let dogs into the apple store?).

thats all folks

no deep ha'arahs today.

MY POOP

It was green. A bright green. It looked like I ate Oscar the Grouch for dinner with a side of Kermit the frog. Any suggestions what this can be from?

rumbles

rumbles is starting to become a real person. i took some video last night and thought i would share his cuteness with you. enjoyoh and he is wearing a coat b/c sita was leaving and he thought she was going out to play. so he had a melt down and insisted on wearing his coat. and even when sita was gone he wouldnt take it off.

Tzarich Iyun

I was going to the bathroom today before night seder (it was a success) and there was a guy in there brushing his teeth. He wasnt bing private or discreet, he was using an electric toothbrush that made it sound like a truck was driving through right between the urinals and the stalls. I tried not to stare but it was hard not to and thats when I saw the shaver on the sink. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!

To Mr. I feel public bathrooms are for my own personal use,

I live on 183rd st. Apt 23 (I think) come by anytime you need a bathroom, were all really nice guys (Ill even throw in some shaving cream).

Sincerely

Chaim G

A coloring book

I hate coloring books. I dont think there is any better way to describe society than a coloring book. An empty page, full of creativity and options. A page of boundless opportunity. A page that can be a dinosaur or a rainbow, mickey mouse or donald duck, a man working or one learning in kollel. But instead society forces themselves onto these pages. Making young minds draw the world only the way they perceive it (and G-d forbid they draw outside the lines). Why have limitless options when we can tell you what to draw and how to draw it. No, a person cant have more than five fingers and no, honey bees cant have anything but a smile on there face.

But then purim comes along. It teaches us that even though 364 we live our lives in the coloring book, one day a year we can see past these lines and see what that paper is really supposed to be. MAy we be zocheh for mashiach to come and let us all what that paper is really supposed be.

Sometimes Amalek Wins

Today I was in english class and the amount of pain was at a high. I have a test tomorrow in J Hist which I havent started studying for yet and no one sat infront of me to cover my sudoku book I normally do in class. Then my very own purim miracle happened, the teacher said she wasnt feeling well and class would end early today. Fireworks started to go off. Wow there is a God and he is a great one indeed. Then out of no where a hand goes up, a maccabeat hand. He asks a 10 minute question that the teacher responds with "I wasnt going to take the class in that direction but lets go there instead". But that wasnt the worst part. He was the Amalek that jumped into the burning pool and cooled it off for everyone else. Another 5 hands went up. It's the first time I understood why Haman was allowed to destroy the Jews, If there cant be achdus in fellow Jews to get out of a class early then the nation does not deserve to live. A full hour and fifteen minutes later we got out of class and feel like I want to kill someone. For next time proper protocol is to sit quiet. let the teacher monologue for fifteen minutes then we all leave. Any questions or comments you can speak to her after class. But today the jews did not have Ora or Simcha.

Poetry is stupid

Its up there with tucking in your shirt and wearing white shirts for rosh chodesh (it is the kaf hachaim, no holds like the kaf hachaim). I just dont understand it. The difference is I dont need to write a paper on them for tomorrow while I do on poetry. The name of the poem is The Red Wheelbarrow and this is the entire poem

"so much depends
upon

a red wheel
barrow

glazed with rain
water

beside the white
chickens."

Hashem help me and William Carlos Williams.

Shabbos leftover eddicit

If one has extra food from a shabbos and they have a single son in an apt in Washinton heights, you dont invite ypeople over for leftovers. You hand it over and cherish the opportunity you were just given to make a difference inn the life of a starving 23 year old boy who cant look at another teriyaki pita. A good boy with a warm heart who just wanted some leftover brisket. A kind hearted boy who just wanted some roasted potatos. Life is hard up here and I would just appreciate a little help (as a tear rolls down my face).

from
Heartbroken (I love it that in write in letters in magazines there name has to do with there situation)

Advice

Just because G-d gave you a mouth and the ability to articulate words does not mean he gave you the ability to give advice. I am single, it is not a secret. I shave, tuck in my shirt, meet a girl on a random corner around stern and we hang out for a couple of hours. Not bad and even sometimes enjoyable (kills night seder). But then I get back and BH there are hundreds of people to help me process the date. I know most of them are just trying to be helpful but you need to speak to me at least once a week not about dating to speak to me about dating. The only thing worse then the dating advice is the break advice. I was walking out of the beis and my friend broke up with his GF (may he have better luck next time) and there he was completely ignoring some kid lecturing him that its all "gonna be ok". "WOW, NO WAY, ITS GONNA BE OK. THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH".

... I hate advice

So much to share

I have date stories, I have purim stories, I have NCSY stories, but nothing can compete with this. I dont even understand half of what she says but... VERY GISHMAK and VERY FRUM

enjoy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Em-e6w4e1v0

A sweater

Why is it whenever I where a sweater everyone automatically assumes i am on a date? maybe I just like sweaters. Maybe I want to change things up a little. All a sweater is, is a more expensive sweatshirt minus the hood. And for some reason they all say I had a date on the back. Maariv tonight was just me nodding at people when they asked me how my date was. Night seder (which i did in the afternoon) was me telling people i didnt know where i was going on the date. And now im trying to do some work but instead I have to blog about how much I hate sweaters. The bottom line - sweaters are one of the worst things that have ever happened to the jewish people.

PS - I need to start becoming friends with this guy bec I just found out he is going out with a girl who's wedding I want to get invited to, Ill let you know how it goes.

The Tomo Twins

There are twins in YU that went to Tomo mich M-Jack. One of them was in class with me last semester and was always really nice to me (I think he was using me just to get to M-Jack) (I dont think he is the first one). The problem is this semester were not in any classes together and I dont know which one is which. Twins should have name tags. Tomo Twins should have name tags.

Deep Insights

I love a Phlayshig (is it flayshig, flayshics, phlayshics, I have no clue) engagement parties. There is nothing more gishmak then potato kugel and chicken at 2 o'clock in the afternoon with a quick Mazel Tov.

wow

i almost cried reading chaims last post. who knew he had so much depth??? in other news my kids made hamentashen today by the sterns. a good time was had by all. yosef came home white from flour. chavi apparently makes perfectly shaped hamentashen, go know. rumbles still stands by the toilet but doesnt pee. and zev is a fountain of spit up. seriously its gross.

Marriage

Everyone around me is getting married. How does one know when it is the right time to get married? How does one know who the right girl is? How do I know who's hands this blogpost is going to get into and the repercussions of it? I have no clue (I dont use expletives but if I did one would belong between the no and clue)!!!! (I was once told I dont show enough emotion in my writing so those are for you) Im in my Apt, I know I need to read a book for Lit class but instead Im watching TED Talks (dont start, their addicting). The man is talking about the balance of work and family, you might be thinking "Chaim, why are you listening to this arent you 0 for 2" and yes right now I am but hopefully one day that will change so why not get an early start.

One day, Im going to pick up a girl make some slide remark and she will laugh. It wont be a courteous laugh and it wont be one of those over the top your hysterical laughs but a cute chuckle. We will go for a nice walk, not talking about anything in particular but I might slip and make an inappropriate joke and she will laugh it off and I will feel I need to use constraint while not pressured to. We will go to a starbucks (is there any other place to go) and I will be able to sit still for more then 10 minutes (and maybe even make eye contact). We will talk about stupid youtube videos and other stuff which will lead to a discussion of Technology and its impact on people and Halacha. I will tell her about how I want to change the world and have no clue how to do it and she will say how she has equal goals and is alright that we can figure these things out together. We will discuss my insecurities and she will put them to ease just knowing how lucky I am to spend time with her. We will get refills (bec I will need more caffeine) and just talk some more until I drop her off. I will go back to my Apt and tell my roomates how great of an experience I had and have one of those funny smiles I like to make fun of other people for having. That would be awesome.

Hopefully this day will come soon. A day when we can add a new member to the Gross Family Blog (maybe she will even blog so it can become a family blog and not a Chaim G show).

Now I just need to start dating again.

Im sure im not the only one

Today I went to the YU sfarim sale (today like most days). As I was walking in the man from ORA (something something agunot) asked if I wanted to help out agunot. I responded apologizing that I didnt have any money on me. He then proceeded to ask why is it that I am coming to the YU sfarim slae if I dont have any money. I just gave him a look and I think he got the point.


For you slow ones: (many things are picked up at the YU sfarim sale besides for sfarim)
(this story has a little bit of exaggeration but I was at the YU sfarim sale tonight)

The Maccabeat's Chavrusas

You've heard of the maccabeats, now its time to meat their chavrusas. Not sure where the rest of this post is going but thought it was a funny idea (being that everyone jokes around with me that I learn morning seder with a maccabeat). In other news the iphoto book I order of pictures with Matis and Me (yes that was done on purpose) from the marathon is coming tomorrow. I have been playing phone tag with Batya all week (hi Bus) and thats about it.

Good night old lady whispering Hush.

Speaking of old ladies we were talking about social security in class today and I mentioned that Grandma is bankrupting the system because it was designed for people to die in their mid 70's. Good work Grandma for getting an extra 20 years out of them (and AARP benefits)

Shidduchim - The Trading Card Game

Every female gets three cards when they enter the shidduch world. These cards are like baseball cards with stats on them such as seminary, high school, how they would identify themselves... These cards are distributed to boys, they can either take the action of contacting a shadchan to be set up or if they feel they are not interested they can trade them. As the game intensifies this is a classic game of strategy and skill. At any point a trade can be offered (I'll trade you two MMY girls for a michlalah and a darchei binah). You may not go out with a girl if you do not have a card. Maximum of three cards per a guy and you cant hold onto a card for more then two weeks without one shidduch action (a trade, phonecall, contacting a shadchan, going on an NCSY shabbaton, HASC reunion...)or a penalty will incur (having to go on an out to eat first date with that girl).

PS - This is a joke and should not be taken seriously, (I hate Jewish History HW (which has more new testament in it then a sunday speech by Reverend Al Sharpton))
PPS - I do have a heart

Family Fun Day

Today was family fun day. The fun started with a cross campus shuttle ride with a girl from the medical ethics shabbaton that was hosted in my apt. I was not sure if i was supposed to say Hi or not. I voted not due to extreme amounts of frumness and awkwardness. Then we went to Tanta Nani's apt to see how she is doing. I could have guessed it, shes REALLY old. At some point do you get double senior citizens discount. I heard she was voted president of AARP the last 50 years in a row. Shes soooo old when she sits on a rainbow skittles come out (ohhhhh snap). I found a ukulele (i originally spelled it ukilayli and it was so wrong spell check couldnt figure it out) and gave Mikey a bell i found and i sang a rendition of "shabbat shalom hey" for her. I think she really enjoyed and even asked if i took lessons (do they offer ukulele lessons?). After that we went out to eat and the SOY Seforim Sale (Do you know they have a book their called biblical seductions? I think they should give it out at the next YU connects shabbaton). And thats the end of every random thing that popped into my head while thinking of FFD. Good times.

potty mouth

yosef's new thing is to walk around saying bathroom related words. i do not feel like i need to share exactly what he is saying, look in the toilet and figure it out on your own. anyways i cant stand it on many levels. but mainly bc chavi tattle tales on him every time he says something [which the past few days has been every few minutes] and that is more annoying then him actually saying it. yesterday i told him that bathroom words belong in the bathroom so sure enough he he spent the entire bath saying them. today he was out of control and i told him if he said it again i would wash his mouth out with soap. so next time he said it i went to the bathroom got some johnson and johnson baby wash [just a tiny drop] and put it on his tongue. he was bawling and was foaming at the mouth. i was trying so hard not to laugh. i felt so bad though so i took him rite to the bathroom and got him a drink [which made more bubbles:)] i think this makes me a real mommy. and in case you are wondering not a single bathroom word was said the rest of the day.

An expensive class

Todays Econ class was really boring, so I went shopping online

My loot:
Textbook for Public Finance
24 pack of gatorade
Settlers of Catan (which i found a 15% off coupon, and used my buy a $20 gift certificate to Barnes and Noble for $10 which i got from Groupon so not even sure if this counts as a purchase)

Ta, you better make these classes more interesting because the semester is just starting (thanks a lot)

- Chaim G

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Close Talker

I am trying to write a paper in the library and you are distracting me. There is no need to play chicken while leaning closer to each other in the middle of a conversation. There is no reason to whisper so softly that ones ear has to be in the others mouth just to hear them. There is no reason i should feel like im disturbing something personal by just writing a paper in the library. There is no reason I feel like I'm on Mach Hach right now. Shomer Negiah is not lets see how close we can get without touching (If you wanna play that game Ill bring twister next time I come to write a paper). On Mach Hach the rule was that a girls sleeves had to be at least five fingers past their shoulder. I think we should apply the same rule to conversations, at least five fingers separating the boy and girl, all in favor comment "I".

PS - Does anyone know anything about huckleberry fin?

What Shiurim not to listen too

I have a new project for my post night seder learning project. Rabbi Lebowitz from DRS gives what he calls the "10 minute halacha shiur". It is a shiur on a variety of topics that takes 10 minutes (no surprises there). Being that they are only 10 minutes I listen to a few a night hoping to get a better grasp on halachah. Today the last of the shiurim I listened to was on hilchos Peyos the, shiur went something like this. "There are a few different opinions where exactly the place for peyos encompass, The first is over here, the second is over here including this area over here. The last opinion includes all of this". Im sure it was a great shiur but not every shiur has a place on YU torah.

I also saw this Video on Youtube and thought of one family member who's name rhymes with "likey" and wants a "mackberry"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H_5nO_uXSjI&feature=player_embedded

hello

i feel like i need to contribute so that chaim doesnt feel like a loser being the only one posting. i have nothing to write. i hate snow, i hope rumbles actually toilet trains. thats it.

Daniel can't burp

Today we were sitting around our table having a nice family lunch in the heights when the subject of burping came up. Actually we were talking about farting but one thing lead to another and we ended up talking about burping. And that is when Daniel had his confession. He doesn't know how to burp. We all have weaknesses in life. DD can't wake up, Schild likes to break cars (two in one week and left to YU with the keys of the third) I (chaim G) like to learn (Hashems Hayligah Torah) too much. What we can learn from this is we all have weaknesses. Its not our weaknesses that define us but how we conquer them. This is when Danny Tanner gives michelle a hug and there is a loud awwww from the audience (I love full house).

Some people are koneh olem haba in one minute and some people lose it

Today I ran the ING Miami Marathon with Matis Penner. It was an amazing weekend capped off with an amazing marathon. I met matis's parents today in the airport tonight to return their son and she conveyed to me the following story. She was davening shemoneh esrei this morning when the phone started to ring. She heard the answering machine go off and as hard as she tried to ignore it as soon as she heard my mothers voice she couldn't help but listen. My mother said that Matis finished the marathon and "tears started to stream down my face".

There goes all my schar for the entire weekend.

$2000 in 2 days

Close but no cigar. And by close I mean not so close. I made $600 which isn't bad at all, all it means is that I'll have to raise the rest after the marathon a little annoying but something I can defiantly do.

Ill keep everyone posted

I hate JETLAG as you can tell by the fact I am blogging at 6:45 am and have been up for an hour

If all you anonymous followers of the blog want to donate to a great organization here is the link to my page: http://www.hasc.net/marathon/my/runchaimrun

A maccabeat shiduch?

Im waiting for the bus at the bus stop (yes thats what you do there) and a girl in a hebrew not better than mine asked "Has a 13 bus come by recently". I answer in a clear and precise english NO. Well one thing leads to another and when someone hears you are from YU right away they ask "Do you know the maccabeats?". I give the usual "I made the maccabeats who they are today" answer. I learn with one (David "Im already taken babes" Block) and roomed with another (Mordy "wow its weird to not b singing with girls" Pruss). She continues "I dont care about them do you know noey jacobson, he has to go out with my friend". I responded im not sure if he is dating yet. SHe goes on to explain that she knows us YU boys and we would never passup a good shiduch opportunity. Besides for the fact tat he lives in NYC and she in toronto the girl insisted that they can make this work. I guess im diving into the world of being a shadchan.


I went to Chevron today and met up with shyne. Now thats a story for a different night and an earlier time.

Israel is great

Not sure what I have done so far but enjoying it immensly. If anyone has any ideas please comment them below. OH and the apartment I was supposed to stay in...

At the kotel

I was learning at the kotel today (516 - 729- 31 oh you wish you had that last numbers) and a man with one of those white yalmukas was staring at me. I gave him the head nod and he smiled, headed nodded back, and gave me that I have a question look. It took him another two minutes to muster up the courage and he asked me if I had a piece of paper and a pen so he can write a message to place in the wall. I apologized and said I didn't. He walked away and then I thought to myself "how stupid am I". I got up and ran after the guy. I explained to him that to talk to G-d we dont need a piece of paper, pen, and a note in the wall. G-d can listen just as well as he can read. The man laughed at me and said "this is my only time here, I should really leave a note". Wow, its sad how much time we spend looking for that pen, if we would only realize...

Wow there must just be something in the air here.