A sweater

Why is it whenever I where a sweater everyone automatically assumes i am on a date? maybe I just like sweaters. Maybe I want to change things up a little. All a sweater is, is a more expensive sweatshirt minus the hood. And for some reason they all say I had a date on the back. Maariv tonight was just me nodding at people when they asked me how my date was. Night seder (which i did in the afternoon) was me telling people i didnt know where i was going on the date. And now im trying to do some work but instead I have to blog about how much I hate sweaters. The bottom line - sweaters are one of the worst things that have ever happened to the jewish people.

PS - I need to start becoming friends with this guy bec I just found out he is going out with a girl who's wedding I want to get invited to, Ill let you know how it goes.

The Tomo Twins

There are twins in YU that went to Tomo mich M-Jack. One of them was in class with me last semester and was always really nice to me (I think he was using me just to get to M-Jack) (I dont think he is the first one). The problem is this semester were not in any classes together and I dont know which one is which. Twins should have name tags. Tomo Twins should have name tags.

Deep Insights

I love a Phlayshig (is it flayshig, flayshics, phlayshics, I have no clue) engagement parties. There is nothing more gishmak then potato kugel and chicken at 2 o'clock in the afternoon with a quick Mazel Tov.

wow

i almost cried reading chaims last post. who knew he had so much depth??? in other news my kids made hamentashen today by the sterns. a good time was had by all. yosef came home white from flour. chavi apparently makes perfectly shaped hamentashen, go know. rumbles still stands by the toilet but doesnt pee. and zev is a fountain of spit up. seriously its gross.

Marriage

Everyone around me is getting married. How does one know when it is the right time to get married? How does one know who the right girl is? How do I know who's hands this blogpost is going to get into and the repercussions of it? I have no clue (I dont use expletives but if I did one would belong between the no and clue)!!!! (I was once told I dont show enough emotion in my writing so those are for you) Im in my Apt, I know I need to read a book for Lit class but instead Im watching TED Talks (dont start, their addicting). The man is talking about the balance of work and family, you might be thinking "Chaim, why are you listening to this arent you 0 for 2" and yes right now I am but hopefully one day that will change so why not get an early start.

One day, Im going to pick up a girl make some slide remark and she will laugh. It wont be a courteous laugh and it wont be one of those over the top your hysterical laughs but a cute chuckle. We will go for a nice walk, not talking about anything in particular but I might slip and make an inappropriate joke and she will laugh it off and I will feel I need to use constraint while not pressured to. We will go to a starbucks (is there any other place to go) and I will be able to sit still for more then 10 minutes (and maybe even make eye contact). We will talk about stupid youtube videos and other stuff which will lead to a discussion of Technology and its impact on people and Halacha. I will tell her about how I want to change the world and have no clue how to do it and she will say how she has equal goals and is alright that we can figure these things out together. We will discuss my insecurities and she will put them to ease just knowing how lucky I am to spend time with her. We will get refills (bec I will need more caffeine) and just talk some more until I drop her off. I will go back to my Apt and tell my roomates how great of an experience I had and have one of those funny smiles I like to make fun of other people for having. That would be awesome.

Hopefully this day will come soon. A day when we can add a new member to the Gross Family Blog (maybe she will even blog so it can become a family blog and not a Chaim G show).

Now I just need to start dating again.

Im sure im not the only one

Today I went to the YU sfarim sale (today like most days). As I was walking in the man from ORA (something something agunot) asked if I wanted to help out agunot. I responded apologizing that I didnt have any money on me. He then proceeded to ask why is it that I am coming to the YU sfarim slae if I dont have any money. I just gave him a look and I think he got the point.


For you slow ones: (many things are picked up at the YU sfarim sale besides for sfarim)
(this story has a little bit of exaggeration but I was at the YU sfarim sale tonight)

The Maccabeat's Chavrusas

You've heard of the maccabeats, now its time to meat their chavrusas. Not sure where the rest of this post is going but thought it was a funny idea (being that everyone jokes around with me that I learn morning seder with a maccabeat). In other news the iphoto book I order of pictures with Matis and Me (yes that was done on purpose) from the marathon is coming tomorrow. I have been playing phone tag with Batya all week (hi Bus) and thats about it.

Good night old lady whispering Hush.

Speaking of old ladies we were talking about social security in class today and I mentioned that Grandma is bankrupting the system because it was designed for people to die in their mid 70's. Good work Grandma for getting an extra 20 years out of them (and AARP benefits)

Shidduchim - The Trading Card Game

Every female gets three cards when they enter the shidduch world. These cards are like baseball cards with stats on them such as seminary, high school, how they would identify themselves... These cards are distributed to boys, they can either take the action of contacting a shadchan to be set up or if they feel they are not interested they can trade them. As the game intensifies this is a classic game of strategy and skill. At any point a trade can be offered (I'll trade you two MMY girls for a michlalah and a darchei binah). You may not go out with a girl if you do not have a card. Maximum of three cards per a guy and you cant hold onto a card for more then two weeks without one shidduch action (a trade, phonecall, contacting a shadchan, going on an NCSY shabbaton, HASC reunion...)or a penalty will incur (having to go on an out to eat first date with that girl).

PS - This is a joke and should not be taken seriously, (I hate Jewish History HW (which has more new testament in it then a sunday speech by Reverend Al Sharpton))
PPS - I do have a heart

Family Fun Day

Today was family fun day. The fun started with a cross campus shuttle ride with a girl from the medical ethics shabbaton that was hosted in my apt. I was not sure if i was supposed to say Hi or not. I voted not due to extreme amounts of frumness and awkwardness. Then we went to Tanta Nani's apt to see how she is doing. I could have guessed it, shes REALLY old. At some point do you get double senior citizens discount. I heard she was voted president of AARP the last 50 years in a row. Shes soooo old when she sits on a rainbow skittles come out (ohhhhh snap). I found a ukulele (i originally spelled it ukilayli and it was so wrong spell check couldnt figure it out) and gave Mikey a bell i found and i sang a rendition of "shabbat shalom hey" for her. I think she really enjoyed and even asked if i took lessons (do they offer ukulele lessons?). After that we went out to eat and the SOY Seforim Sale (Do you know they have a book their called biblical seductions? I think they should give it out at the next YU connects shabbaton). And thats the end of every random thing that popped into my head while thinking of FFD. Good times.

potty mouth

yosef's new thing is to walk around saying bathroom related words. i do not feel like i need to share exactly what he is saying, look in the toilet and figure it out on your own. anyways i cant stand it on many levels. but mainly bc chavi tattle tales on him every time he says something [which the past few days has been every few minutes] and that is more annoying then him actually saying it. yesterday i told him that bathroom words belong in the bathroom so sure enough he he spent the entire bath saying them. today he was out of control and i told him if he said it again i would wash his mouth out with soap. so next time he said it i went to the bathroom got some johnson and johnson baby wash [just a tiny drop] and put it on his tongue. he was bawling and was foaming at the mouth. i was trying so hard not to laugh. i felt so bad though so i took him rite to the bathroom and got him a drink [which made more bubbles:)] i think this makes me a real mommy. and in case you are wondering not a single bathroom word was said the rest of the day.

An expensive class

Todays Econ class was really boring, so I went shopping online

My loot:
Textbook for Public Finance
24 pack of gatorade
Settlers of Catan (which i found a 15% off coupon, and used my buy a $20 gift certificate to Barnes and Noble for $10 which i got from Groupon so not even sure if this counts as a purchase)

Ta, you better make these classes more interesting because the semester is just starting (thanks a lot)

- Chaim G

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Close Talker

I am trying to write a paper in the library and you are distracting me. There is no need to play chicken while leaning closer to each other in the middle of a conversation. There is no reason to whisper so softly that ones ear has to be in the others mouth just to hear them. There is no reason i should feel like im disturbing something personal by just writing a paper in the library. There is no reason I feel like I'm on Mach Hach right now. Shomer Negiah is not lets see how close we can get without touching (If you wanna play that game Ill bring twister next time I come to write a paper). On Mach Hach the rule was that a girls sleeves had to be at least five fingers past their shoulder. I think we should apply the same rule to conversations, at least five fingers separating the boy and girl, all in favor comment "I".

PS - Does anyone know anything about huckleberry fin?

What Shiurim not to listen too

I have a new project for my post night seder learning project. Rabbi Lebowitz from DRS gives what he calls the "10 minute halacha shiur". It is a shiur on a variety of topics that takes 10 minutes (no surprises there). Being that they are only 10 minutes I listen to a few a night hoping to get a better grasp on halachah. Today the last of the shiurim I listened to was on hilchos Peyos the, shiur went something like this. "There are a few different opinions where exactly the place for peyos encompass, The first is over here, the second is over here including this area over here. The last opinion includes all of this". Im sure it was a great shiur but not every shiur has a place on YU torah.

I also saw this Video on Youtube and thought of one family member who's name rhymes with "likey" and wants a "mackberry"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H_5nO_uXSjI&feature=player_embedded

hello

i feel like i need to contribute so that chaim doesnt feel like a loser being the only one posting. i have nothing to write. i hate snow, i hope rumbles actually toilet trains. thats it.

Daniel can't burp

Today we were sitting around our table having a nice family lunch in the heights when the subject of burping came up. Actually we were talking about farting but one thing lead to another and we ended up talking about burping. And that is when Daniel had his confession. He doesn't know how to burp. We all have weaknesses in life. DD can't wake up, Schild likes to break cars (two in one week and left to YU with the keys of the third) I (chaim G) like to learn (Hashems Hayligah Torah) too much. What we can learn from this is we all have weaknesses. Its not our weaknesses that define us but how we conquer them. This is when Danny Tanner gives michelle a hug and there is a loud awwww from the audience (I love full house).