Date Idea #24

Mommy is coming home from israel tommorow. I go with my date to a hotel lobby with oak tag (im not sure if thats what is really called but i always pronounce it that way) and markers and we make welcome back mommy signs (not welcome home signs, becuase israel is our home (medinat yisrael is our home)). The we surprise mommy by the airport. If all goes according to plan mommy will see me with a girl (probably a first date) and probably start to cry because she is losing the love of her life. Thats a great date.

Make sure you check out the new NCSY video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mvY337zKttA&feature=player_embedded

and may we be zocheh to have no more hiatuses (or is it hiati)

tzaruch iyun

flu shots

i finally got out of the house with just yz today. took him for his first stroll down central ave. i think he had a nice time seeing as he slept the whole time. taking my kids for flu shots this afternoon. should be fun. hatzlacha to charles.

Date Tonight

Im thinking making 16 hot dogs and having a hot dog eating contest. I know what ya'll (sorry I had an out of towner shabbaton) are thinking, something so competitive on a first date. People go bowling and mini golf so why cant we have some competitive eating? I'll let you all know how it goes.

PS - Shabbaton was great and I got a picture of the back of the eight mile sign. For all of you who dont know what that is, its very cool.

to see the video below:

Notice #: 1691002529027

Pin #: 8151

Busted!

Mommy going through a red light, its the black crv

https://www.violationinfo.com/PlayVideo.aspx?id=CACHE_KEY_VIDEOtphzjx45socnh1uxjor0aubp

NEw Series - what goes on with Chaim G during Morning Seder

So today I was learning and there was a crash behind us. As a result we had a quick hesech hadaas (break in concentration) and my chavrusa started to sing siman tov and a mazel tov (thats the way they sang it at cousin matty's wedding) I just said "excuse me".

Stayed tune for what happens tomorrow

Baruch Hashem

My meeting went great. My nose is stopping to run. My feet are feeling better and Im starting to run a little. They might actually start paying me at the OU and I might have a job in July. I am being recruited for the YU connects shabbaton. I think Im getting funnier. This is the best day EVER.

Quick maysah from my OU adventure today. In the train station you have to take an elevator to get from street level to the trains. On the side of the elevator a man decided to write out his frustration at the trains. It went something like this "beep beep trane beep" (for those of us living in Eretz Yisroel train is spelled "train"). I also hate those darn tranes.

CG out

What Im wearing for my BIG Meeting

Fancy Grey Pants - Mommy bought them for me from emporio

Fancy Brooks Brother Shirt - Originally Adam Schachar

FAncy Shoes - Not as fancy as Mikeys

Fancy Sweater - Bought while mommy was paying

A Puma Sock - they cant see them

What do all these things have in common?

untitled

i guess the blog is up and going again. i feel out of the loop. oh and to comment on the name post. shoshana is calling him velvet or moshe. why moshe? b/c she thought it was a nice name and suggested over succas that we should name him moshe. but since we didnt listen to her and she still likes the name she may call him that.

THe readership of this blog

I was going to post today about the medication im on for my foot and one of its side effects (it has to do with your poop color, i thought it was hysterical). But as I was posting I was informed that their is readership of this blog in stern (hello all my female admirerers). I guess I will be pretty sensored for now on.

PS - does this make me popular?

Name of new baby

Yitzchak Zev

Yitzie

Yitz

Yo

Itchy

Itcha

Velvil

Volvie

Itcha Volvil

Zevie

Blueberry

Cutie Pie

I am a father, and his name is SCOTT

This email was sent to a younger member of my shiur:

Dear Scott,

Allow me to welcome you to what will certainly be a productive zman in MYP. I hope that you have spent the first few weeks of the semester acclimating yourself to your daily routine. Still, you may encounter challenges that you would confront more confidently if you had a relationship with someone having more experience dealing with YU. As coordinator of the Hadracha Program of MYP, I am pleased to offer you the services of Chaim Gross who will be happy to serve as your mevugar. Please feel free to speak with him regarding any issue- whether personal, academic, or certainly Torah related. Of course, you are not required to meet him, yet if you are able to develop a relationship with him you would gain immeasurably. Your mevugar, Chaim, is experienced at the ins and outs of YU, yet is still in school here; is familiar with many of the courses; has connections to many resources which may prove valuable to you; is a solid ben Torah. You may already have met Chaim, but if not, seek him out.

Many students find it difficult to jump into the dual program here at YU, especially those who have just returned from learning intensively in a yeshiva in Israel. Some find the college classes overwhelming; others have trouble juggling their sedarim; yet others find they are frustrated by being unable to maintain excellence in either pursuit. Whatever the specific issue, sometimes you may want to shmooze. While the guidance department here at YU is valuable, and the team of mashgichim is terrific, a significant number of students find that they would prefer to speak to a “yeshiva guy” who is part of the chevra, but not part of the official structure, and might better relate to their concerns.

This is where the Hadracha Program steps in. Although you probably already know Chaim, you may not have thought of him in the role I am describing. Furthermore, I have personally asked him to be solicitous of your good welfare. On the other hand, you may not know your mevugar. If so, I encourage you to take your earliest opportunity to seek him out- he will enjoy making your acquaintance, too.

Of the many services YU provides to make your YU experience as rewarding as possible, the Hadracha Program of MYP can be the most directly valuable one for those who avail themselves of its opportunities. In addition, I am personally at your service every morning in the Fischel Beis Medrash, as well. I look forward to meeting you shortly. Wishing you the best of luck and success for the semester,

Rabbi David Pahmer

Shoel Umaishiv

Coordinator of Hadracha Program

Should I tell him how awkward I am?

Beowolf and the end of my neshama

Im taking a mid evil literature class. The class consists of people that are too smart for themselves (professor I disagree with your definition of what an epic novel is because that doesnt include njkfsanjkfasnk which many professors consider an epic due to its structure) and dirty french stories. The only difference between my text book and those trashy romance novels is the front cover. Why cant their be a lit class for non majors. I did great in Chemistry of Everyday Life (I even considered being an Everyday Chemist for a time). Ill let you know how my quiz goes tomorrow but hopefully better then the in class discussions

PS - we have to sit in circles in class, I hate sitting in circles in class

bby

chavi starts school tomorrow. iyh i will write how it goes. she did great by orientation today. didnt speak to anyone but sat by the table and colored and didnt make me stand next to her the whole time. yos is getting really upset that he hasnt started yet.

Apt Update

Ketchup still on the table from last night. Boxes still in the hallway from my shelves that I built on sunday. There is a fresh smell of BO encompassing the entire Apt.

GISHMAK

PS - first post from the new mac

Hey

Loved the ZDCOMEHOME post, the dead lady in the library and MC writing all of our birthday wishes for Buby (I hope she doesn't check the blog in the next few days!)

House Keeping

I deleted all of the random chinese comments (chinese commentators to our blog is like ruch to ... zaidy).

techiyas hameitim

i see the blog is finally alive again. nice. nothing to report here. ran errands all day. hoping to take the kids swimming by my in laws tomorrow. chavi has lice check tomorrow and yos only wants to know when he is going to get his hair checked. i have not done my scrapbook yet. disaster, can mc write one for me too?

Zaidy Obbsessed

Its been about 72 hours since my kids lost there loce of there life. I'm thinking about switching my screen name to zaidycomehome. Everytime time we pass a car on the street my kids reminece about Zaidy's car. Chaim, I hope the women ended up being alive. Good night team. (the real reason why I came on to blog is that I wanted to dut and paste what "we" wrote for Bubbys scrap book but the computer didnt let)
-Bus

I think Shes Dead

I was wondering around the YU library (its so good to be back) and there is an old lady asleep on the keyboard of one of the schools computers. (my phone is dead or I forsure would have taken a picture). I really think she might be dead ... I think this is my most awkward moment in the library to date. Its up there when I was taking pictures of this random guy from my Jewish History class on my cell phone and he saw me (i really need to get smoother). I guess this post is a to be continued ...

Voice of an angel

On the way back from the aquarium we were listening to some very inspiring uncle moishe, cd's. Chavi was making some random "la la la's" to the song and was driving mindy off the walls. Mindy told Chavi that if she doesn't stop she's gonna turn off uncle moishe and play "mommy music". But, Chavi kept "la la la"ing, and mindy popped out the cd on the spot, and started playing her music. In the mirror I can see that Chavi was very upset, but not a minute into the song did chavi, with all her heart start "la la la"ing like there's no tomorrow, mindy cudnt stop breath, she was laughing to hard, oy chavi.....................

aquarium

for those of you who have not heard my kids have been off for the past week and it has been raining since sunday. not a good combination. there is absolutely nothing to do in the rain. today out of desperation uncle mikey and i took chavi and yos to the aquarium. since we have a membership [courtesy of ma and ta] parking and admission were free. so even if the trip was a bust atleast we didnt pay anything for it. bh it stopped raining when got off the belt and started to pour when we walked out of the last exhibit so we just had to walk to the car in the rain. technically we did miss the whale show but my kids dont know that so no love lost there. yos loved the sharks and the turtles and chavi oddly enough liked the walruses which yos was afraid of. the biggest haarah of the day came from yos who said "penguins are just birds". im not sure what he thought they were before hand but whatever. we ended the day with pizza and a trip to pomegranate. my kids got massive cookies and we bought ta some hummus and matbucha, bc he loves it. sorry there are no pics but i will put them on snapfish eventually. big yasher koach to uncle mikey for all his help. bigger yasher koach to uncle mikey for hanging out here tonite so adam and i get c and g for dinner.

Back in YU

Im not sure if you guys know how facebook works, ut your supposed to "friend" anyone that you have ever said hi to. Now that Im back in YU i see all these "friends" and im not sure what im supposed to do. Do I go over and say hi? Should I ask them how there summer was? Or ask why he was hanging out with girls dressed inappropriately and then putting the pictures on line for random people you just see once in your life, like me, to look at.

oh how excited I am to be back in YU

countdown begins for tas arrival

I just opened up our last bag of milk. We dont have any more apples left. We have just enough yogurts if RL only eats 4 a day. I hope were going to make it, Bas

Chaim's movie

The Jacobowitzs woke up early this morning to see uncle chaims video. Rl loved the music. I love watching fat people dance, Bas

Yom tov

Five soups finished: chicken,veggie,pot/leek, cabbage and mush/barley. Cookies:snicker doodles and butter cookies. (thank you Ta andChaim for eating the broken ones). challah tomorrow.

My latest creation

I got 100 hits in one hour bli ayin hara.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o0eV25Vf9cc

Down and dirty

Just got back from a wedding and very smelly. Need to go into the shower, but i danced with Mr. Hoch from next door. I think this might be the beginning of a long and lasting friendship (not sure if he knew it was me) (joke)

big 3-0

what does one get mc for his bday. i am going to attempt to find the funniest [and most appropriate] card in cvs tomorrow. wish me luck. ps- big shout out of thanks to ma and ta for not sending me to BBY. got the parent handbook yesterday. i wouldnt have lasted a week.

I finally got my other computer to work............

Right now I have tp computer in my room, RL refers to them as "skype" and "work".

chaim is funny

just to give some backround info. we are waiting for ta to begin our c and g feast. then we are going to teaneck. that being said charles is funny. i dont want to steal his thunder but next time you speak to him ask him about his new blog.

Things you should and should not be doing

You should be enjoying Ice cream while mommy is still paying for it, you should not be going on a diet.

You should be cleaning up the extra room for when I come to Israel, you should not be expecting a new sheitel.

You should pick up when I call you at 8:15 every morning, you should not call me when I'm in work.

If I think of anything else Ill post it as comments

*this post was not posted to any one person of our family in particular (not the one who called Mindy to say she is not even eating low fat frozen yogurt anymore)

what a spread

mindt glaser had a shiur in her house tonite and asked me to come just in case no one lse would show up. not only was every seat taken but so was the couch and 2 ppl on the stairs. so she didint need me. rav forst spoke so it was a great shiur. but what i am really writting about is the fact that she had a spread that would make her mother proud. i was the last to leave as i hung out with mindy and rivky afterwards. we were cracking up by the amount of food she went thru. i think ppl came bc they knew mindy is an awesome cook. i packed a goodie plate for my husband, hot peach cobbler, blueberry pie and chocolate cupcakes for the kids. she also had. pb balls, eclairs, brownies, fruit, 3 types of salads, and other stuff. not normal. gitty should be proud. also nice blog ma. we are waiting for you at home.

I'm not giving up

I had a long post last week and when I went to send it, it got deleted and I lost my cheyshek to try again. But hey, for you guys, it's worth another try. How do you know when its soon time to come home? A - when you start a new list of things you haxe to send for the next time. B - You are packing your dirty clothes that you're not going to wear anymore. C - It is time to watch the Jabowitz girls and for Mel and Bas to spend the next 24hours deciding what to do and what to talk about? D - When you open the fridge, you think to yourself, " should I save or throw out the half empty Helmans mayonnaise jar"? If you said, "All of the above" , the you are correct!
Love and miss you all.

Mom

Special Guest Adam Schachar (please dont tell anyone from yeshiva)

So I go over to the chosson and kallah to say mazal tov. Tzvi smiles and says thank you so much for coming. I wish him mazal tov and tell him i have to give him a kiss from Moshe Chaim (he kisses everyone). As I'm saying Chaim he unexpectedly moves his cheek towards my lips. I BIT THE CHOSSON. Try hit with your hand, move your hand towards your mouth as you say chaim and your teeth graze your hand. I looked at his cheek afterwards and there were no teethmarks.

taking a poll do you think Sheva brachos jsut got more or less akward on wednesday night?

I fell in the mud

I was walking into Joels bungalow and their was a skunk on the top of the teps. I said "oh shoot" and started to run and continued to slip and fall face furst in the mud. I looked like ruch after eating chocolate ice cream. My pants, shirt, jacket (the shidduch one) were all covered. So I had to wear on sunday (today) to camp hasc the only things I had left. NCSY polo that I had in my car, White shorts (just bought in wal-mart), crocs with no socks, and a KOC (kids of courage) hat. When I went to HASC I looked sooooo cool. Too bad cough, cough couldn't see it.

Oh wait she did, she came for visiting day also.

I should really blog more often... chaim G out.

Bassie on the ipad

Hello everyone, it's tanta basis on mommy ipdad. I'm. It really sure how to work this thing. The kids are by the ice cream store and I have nothing to say to my husband. Anyoway, I'm sure the house is nit going to look this clean In the next twenty minutes. I don't know how to erase or go back. Have a great shabsoos, bus

Sick day - very boring

At least I started on the sharmel website (this is a very ruff draft)

http://yismichu.org/shamsham/sharmeltry1.html

rumbles abc 001.AVI

pomegranate

adam and i are going on a road trip to flatbush today. we are going to find random things to eat in pomegranate. iyh ill let you know how it goes. btw, where is bassie???

STONE

I just got back from machaneh stone. For the car ride we took all the caps extra meat leftovers. An assortment of cold eggrolls, cold onion rings, and cold buffalo wings. umm umm good. Being that I am unable to eat meat the next week dinners should get creative, Ill keep you posted.

Stone was great, not so much as I remembered it (I felt really old).

only simchas

4 mazel tov shout outs:
1. chaim and emma on thier enegagement. chavi wants a new dress. i dont know if she will be invited but she wants a new one regardless. do u think we can get her to be a flower girl? how much would she love that??
2. esther p on her first pair of shoes. ok, i dont know if that actually happened but it was about to go down when i last spoke to ma
3. my 2 older children for finally getting off the steps of my in laws pool and actually swimming [they were wearing floaties]
4. most importantly ta for surviving another visiting day without ma. spoke to him at 5:20 and he was just leaving and sounded wiped.

mailman/ ta the coolest member of the family?

my kids call chaim g the mailman. im not sure why. any suggestions. also you have to hear rumbles say chaim g, its very cute. chavi came home from camp yesterday all exctied. apparently there was a hatzalah call some where along the way to camp and she only wanted to call ta and tell him. yos, who was standing near by asked "why does zaidy drive a police car?". i guess ta is much cooler then we all thought.

Mikey

Mickey called my house many times, hes sick. Does a/o know his bunk number so we can email him? Bas

infomercials

i bought adam a magic bullet for his birthday. i dont think i hae ever seen him so excited about anything. ill let you know what interesting he [and charles] concoct.

VV adventure

I ended up sleeping in VV last night. The mother went over to me, "is your mother Naomi Gross, you know she started the minyenet here".

did you know....

that according to 1010wins today is going to be the hottest day since 1999. it amy even break the record of 101 set for that day. i dont want to hear any complaining about the heat from across the ocean.

Decorations

I decorated Ma and Tas Pad. I included the olam in it.... the shachars are in kollel so Ill be M'vatar on the seven shek. Mikeys in camp so i guess ill also be m'vater on his money. Chaim, please send the money asap.

Mommy in kollel today so im not sure ill see her.

Keep posting team, bj

Mikey's worst nightmare

Chaim G is officially on Facebook

nothing

really nothing to blog about but feel bad bc no one has posted in a few days. my kids have been home since the 18th which has made life here very exciting. bh camp starts tomorrow and the kids are pumped. im not sure if rumbles will be happy or sad to have them gone we shall see. ok this post is boring so im gonna stop. everyone have a great day.

My new movie

http://vimeo.com/12844471

Roch and EP

I overheard this converasation takeing place b/w my two daughters...........
EP: Baya, Baya
RL: (screaming at esther) Its not baya, its mommy
****repeated itself around 8 times

new and improved yos

Just checking in.........

Nothign exciting doing around the J's. Were going to PT today with Esther and then I have a Doctors apointment. Bus

Table for Eight a Success

Just got a call from Betty Pearlman. One of the guys are interested in one of the girls! How awesome!

The pressures all on me!

(Mommy please dont read this......)
Siblings, Mommy is arriving in e"y on her 5oth b-day, what r we doing?
Im getting all nervous that Im going to have to pull s/t off....
bus

Hatzlacha Mikey!

We are sorry we wont be able to make it tonight!
Mazel tov, The J's

I love my job

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wOxHw1X_cHY

11 more months to my graduation

we can have a combined sheva brachos and graduation party (I want double the amount of marquis gear being that it is for me and my wife)

preview

Birthday List

10. For me not to be the center of everyone's blog jokes.

9. A phone conversation with Rochel Leah that lasts more then 15 seconds.

8. A phone conversation with Chavi without here asking me if I'm Jewish, or allergic to apple kugel.

7. A phone conversation with Yosef that doesn't sound like the phone conversation i had with Chavi just the minute beforehand.

6. The Suzuki AX1012 video glasses (Not the ipod tx1400 3d glasses, thats there older model, Batya).

5. For someone to comment on my blogpost......finally

Can't think of anything else at the moment.........

Peanut Butter Jelly Time

Does anyone have anyother lunch suggestions?

Birthday Presents

I have two weight comments....

1) Today I was on the phone with Chaim G and in the middle of our conversation (which is usually a lenghty one) RL asked me what something was and I tole her " a roll" and Chaim asked me if she was pointing to her stomach

2) 200 pounds

Bassie J who is ready my midnight

hak

bas has good hak. why has she not blogged about it yet is a good question.

When am I going to be allowed to start dating

Just in case you were curious mom, the first girl I'm going to go out with we already went out and broke up so you can like her right off the back (or is the saying bat).

babysitter

does anyone want to baby sit thursday nite so adam and i can go out for my bday? [im getting my duck gnocci from my top 10 list]. on a side note i want a bday cake [preferably a fro yo one] with my picture on it. but i want the pic to be from before i was married when i was a size 4 and half way cared what i looked like. i think eating a pretty picture of me is better then eating a pregnant picture of me. better yet make it a picture of a container of haagen daaz coffee ice cream that way when i eat my cholov yisroel cake it may actually taste good.

2 things

1. i am changing one of my top 10 to making hewlees cholov yisroel. i was by the orthodontist today which is around the corner from station yogurt and all i wanted was a coffee hewlee.
2. i had c and g for dinner for the second time in 8 days. i feel like a horse and i believe i have so much mexican food flowing thru my veins i think i could speak fluent spanish.

I got rocked today

We had a big synagogue services team meeting today. The other intern took 6 pages of notes within the first hour and I was still on my first page of doodles. (I'm sure mine were funnier). At least I thought of a great idea during the meeting. I bought myself two in one soap and shampoo and a loofa and am going to try to loofa my head tonight. Ill let everyone knows how it goes.

Sorry no list, but my birthday is not in june

If a/o speaks to m.c...........

tell him what i really want for my birthday is my sheitel cut. b/c, i was really hoping to have a new sheitel before my 5th wedding anniversery but chaim appears to be taking his time (or mommy is making chaim take his time)

p.s. ma, if i knew abt the competition i would have made my funny, bas

Top 10 for the BIG 5-0

1. Chazanit at Amen for a two day Rosh Chodesh

2. To be ready for Chatzot on Tuesday

3. Rabbi Frand and Rabbi Fohrman retreat in Baltimore in August

4. Alaskan Cruise for my 25th wedding anniversary

5. Alaskan Cruise for my 30th wedding anniversary

6. A picture of my grandchildren all looking at the camera at the same time, smiling

7. A picture of my children ( including my 2 favorite sons-in-law) all looking at the camera at the same time, smiling

8. It's late. Let's see which of my children can come up with the funniest/original last 3. Good night. Love you all.

Mom

P.S. I'm the judge. Whoever comes up with the best answer, will get treated to a muffin and ice coffee from Toddy's (or Sams)!

top 10 for the big 2-7

10. if my in laws call i want marquis apparel
9. julie to come back
8. someone to take my kids for 3 nights
7. someone to take my kids for 3 days [does not need to correspond to the 3 nights]
6. 70 degree weather till the end of october
5. the cool i pod thing that bassie wants
4. a bubble maker [chaim and mikey could fight over who buys it for me]
3. to tah along with mikey on one of his yearly cirque du soleil trips
2. duck gnocchi from mikes bistro
1. tickets to eretz yisroel, someone to watch my kids while i go and full service at ma and ta's apt

Top 10 List for the big 2-5!

1) Cash***
2) Graduation party***
3) IPOD tx1400 3d glasses***
4) 25 ice coffes from Sam Bagels
5) 25 muffins from cental perk
6) cleaning lady (doesnt have to be 25x, it can just be mommy)
7) 25 minutes of my husbands time
8) babysitter
9) a/c for my bedroom
10) RL to go to sleep by 9:00

* cards can be mailed to Batya J 5 meno livna ramat eshkol jerusalem 97758

*** Hameven Yaven

Shaylah

I got this email today: Shalom Everyone. It’s a payday Friday, which means its clean out the refrigerators day. Please be sure to remove all you edibles in the fridge before 12 noon as any remaining items will be disposed of.

If im not getting paid do I need to take my stuff out of the fridge?

trying to leave work

Today I worked on making a fake facebook page. Being that my boss wasn't in work today (she had a conference) I wanted to print it out so I can show it to her tomorrow. So im here, overtime (is there overtime if your not getting paid) waiting for it to print. its been 15 minutes and counting.

First day of work... for real

Today was my first day on the job. I have my own desk, phone, and getting my own email address. No fun stories yet but I will keep you guys informed.

PS - I did go to a KBY wedding tonight which happened to be extremely awkward (on a scale of 1 to me with strangers I would give it the first time mommy met RT)

Emma

On behalf of the entore Gross Mishpacha, we would like to with a very happy birthday to Emma Kaplan, ad meah vesrim shana :)

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions

Mikey was dropped off at 6:00am for his 8th grade trip to Washington, D.C. It's now 6:47am, should I:

Go back to bed?

Exercise?

Read a book?

Finish the left over cheese cake from Shavuoth that's on its last leg?

Clean the garage?

Amens at 8:15am -

Earning vs. working

My husband works, he just doesnt earn!

first day of work... almost

I woke up early, got dressed very fancy, got stuck on the train for 1 hour 20 minutes, get to the office and the security guard does not let me up. I go to starbucks learn mishnayos, walk around a little, buy myself an ice cream (it was chof-k just to spite them) and came back to YU for a nap. I think I can do this for the rest of my life.

Chaim G

ayfo mommy

chaim and i are hungry and mommy isnt answering her phone. do you think she is avoiding us? ooohhhh wait, chaim just called ta and ma is by the eye dr. we should have been dan l'kaf zechus.

watching Iron Chef with the rents

no post necessary

yay for yos!!!!

although you all know already i feel this occasion deserves a post. yos is making on the potty!!! for all those who have been zoche to see his little tushy in underwear know just how much cuter he is now. [fyi we are wearing spongebob today]. unclear if i am pushing the boundries by posting pics, will discuss with my husband.

I guess I slept too much on shvuous

Couldn't sleep tonight. Davened vasikin and trying round #2

I feel like the yantif goy!

We had a beautiful yantif. Chaim, Elozer send his regaurds.
Good Yantif, Bas

i like being pregnant erev yom tov

that way i can justify all the food im noshing on while i cook. im so wiped i cant move which is why im blogging instead of finding my kitchen counters. does it count if you make chatzos on erev yom tov? huge shkoyach to sita for coming in 2 hours earlier today. i really want to post pics of my gorgeous cheesecake but im once again to tierd to do so. it is really stunning, i cant garuntee that it tastes good but atleast it looks nice.

Looks like im going to make shkiah

bus

CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

RL made cha on the toilet. The rest of the day she walked around im my underwear (i'm trying to keep this post the same rateing as chaims ncsy movie. )
Bus

Please HELP

I'm on the 2nd floor of the library and the girl sitting next to me (yes, its finals) is wearing way too much perfume. If anyone can please bring an oxygen mask it would be much appreciated. (hope she is not looking over my shoulder)

Chaim G

NCSY movie

Today I had to film a movie for regionals. Every year the advisors make a funny movie this years was my idea. Its an infomercial for a product that keeps tzitzis out of awkward places. We tried to keep it rated PG but didnt work out so well. When its done it will be posted.

happy mothers day

this is instead of a card. i didnt have time to go to cvs. so if this email applies to you take it for what it is worth. the kids came home with cute projects [which they were very good at keeping a secret of all week]. yos made a mirror and chavi made a recipe holder. see everyone later.

My dream is coming true

I was talking to DD (my roomate) in the library and someone came over (name: eli gewritz) and said "do you think chaim has gotten cooler since he got to YU" and my roomate responded yeah. (please make sure this blog post gets to adam schachar)

a true 5 towner

rumbles is ready to go out for a lunch date. he climbed up on the chair by himself and ate my salad from gotta getta bagel.

Summer Plans

So what do you think of Shaindy and me being madrichot to 400 unaffiliated women in Eretz Yisrael this summer?

Everything hurts, Everything kills and Everything itches

I rode the TD five boro bike tour today, it was very gishmak. My entire body got sun burnt besides for my bum, but thank G-d the bicycle seat took care of that for me. I am in need of serious pain killers!! (this post is a joke because if anyone asks me I say it doesnt hurt)

PS - this is post #300

Scared for my Life

Outside my window is the biggest bon fire i have ever seen. There are 450 charedi kids (anyway, who w/d want there kids to be charedi?) and three responsible 14 year old sisters. A ligchtiga lag baomer.

BTW, made chatzos!

Flannels

Every time I fold pajam pants Roch asks me "Uncle Chaims?"
Why is it Roch associates flannels with Uncle Chaim g?
Good Shabbos from all of the J's!

bum

chaim is alseep on the grass in my backyard with all three kids running around him. they think its the funniest thing on earth. on to other news. it seems that mikey really suffered this week with ma and ta being away. who remembers when ma and ta used to go away and we had to fight for the tv in the den b/c bubby and zaidy had to watch jeopardy and wheel of fortune? i think we also had sushi and chosen every nite. :)

Yom Ha'atzmuat Pictures

May we be zocheh to celebrate many more together. AMEN.

chaim, how do i cut and pase to ut things on the blog?

Security Breach

Every evening when coming into the dorms the security guard asks to see my ID. Tonight I went swimming and after swimming I went to the caf store and bought myself a box of entamans cookies (no better snack after exercising). I walked into my Dorm building and instead of showing my ID, I offered him a cookie. It worked. Stay tuned next week when I try it on airline security.

Superman

I bikerode 42 miles today in 2 hours and 8 minutes on hill mode. BH my legs are feeling fine but my bum is bothering me. Does anyone have any suggestions for race day?

Chaim making fun of my Chatzos emails-

Please let me know if you want to start receiving after being inspired by reading an actual email from the queen of chatzos herself!! - I still remember the week I did chatzos for the first time. I haven't looked back since. For all the new members who came to my lecture in Baltimore, and then signed up, it doesn't matter whether you "made chatzos" or not. What matters is that you took immediate action! You took a step forward and joined the group. Some of you may have taken baby steps, others of you have already contributed your wisdom to the group, and others of you may have even made chatzos this week. What I know is that Hashem LOVES you for your commitment, and to all of you, new members, and long-timers, you have my heart.

Good Shabbos

Heres one for the website Chaim

Funnies from Mr. Bass's class

We were learning about urine today in science so Mr. Bass asked someone if they would volunteer to take a urine sample, so we can learn about how to test for diseases in urine. He picks on someone and 2 minutes later he comes back with a cup full of pee. ( i was gonna right urine instead of pee but i think chaim can handle it) Anyways he starts doing the test and so far he passed the HIV test and the red blood cell test, but when he gets to the sugar he's positive (which means he has diabetes) this kid starts flipping out and is basically in tears, so mr bass tries lighting things up and says as a joke "why dont you taste it to see if theres sugar in it" now this kid isn't the redest apple on the tree so, unbelievable, indescribably, unhumanly drinks it. were on the floor laughing so hard i thought chaim said one of his jokes (not) he then spits it out and knocks over the cup of urine all over the counter. now everyones dying, but the truth is it was all a joke and the teacher and the kid were in on it the whole time, it was still hilarious though :)

A question for the oylam

Why is it whenever I walk down the street do people say "I have the perfect diet for your daughter?"JK Anyway, we are serving an orange soup this shabbos but its not orange soup. (Its lentil for all those are cuious)

Cant wait to see the new bubble machine, BJ

A question for girls

Why is it that when a friend of mine and his girlfriend are walking down the street and I wave (or say hi) the girl turns to the boy and says "I know the perfect girl for him" or "I know who he is going to marry" or "He is so shiach for my friend ...". Is there something special about my wave? How can they know so much about me from such a simple gesture? Ladies, I'm waiting for a response.

PS - on kids woot their is a bubble machine, can I get it please? (I will be home this summer and am looking for some activities to keep myself occupied) (It says 5000 bubbles a minute, If each bubble costs a cent it pays for itself in 15 seconds)

Celebrating the proper way

Today we celebrated Yom Ha'atzmaut the way Ben Gorion would have wanted us to. We had a large bbq, a co-ed concert, and no torah within miles. If only more holidays were like Yom Ha'atzmaut.

Chaim Called..................

And Said "chag samech, reishit smicha geulatinu"

MC being Mivatel Torah

why does Rumbles look like a hunter?

On another note, my finance teacher was telling us how moses was a military expert and they needed to be in the desert for forty years to prepare for their battles. I asked him since he knows so much about torah should we call him rabbi Nahm (he is korean) he responded no and then asked if I was single. I said yes and he told me I should go out with an asian girl because I was so funny and asian girls love boys with a sense of humor. So... does anyone know anyone?

Regards from Tapeman

Bought 2 Baruch Levine CDs.

Rosh Chodesh Iyar

Guess who was the chazanit for Hallel at Amen this morning? Just add it to the list of firsts. You didn't know you had such a talented Mother/shvig!!

rumbles new shoes

finally!!!! mommy and i took rumbles for his first pair of shoes on tuesday. they are a sneaker/sandal. and of course they are geox b/c my kids have stinky feet. check your emails for additional photos. also, i like chaims idea of racing up belfer. i think if roch gets here she can lose some additional inches by joining the race.

Best Idea Ever (x2)

A race up Belfer Hall. 20 Guys 16 floors and many video cameras to capture the action. Meeting with YU security tomorrow.

WELCOME BACK TEAM

We arrived via. Bussiness class. All is well. RL is pushing her stroller and keeps on telling me shes going to Bubby. Bistama, if shell walk to Bubby shell loose a couple of inches on her waist line. Keep blogging, bassie j

Dor Chaim

Even though the blog is on hiatus till after pesach (yes haitus, no its not dead) somethings are so good they have to be shared with the whole entire olam. Just how their is Dor Yisharim for medical diseases so too there should be a test for Psychological problems. I am suggesting a branch of Dor Yisharim called Dor Chaim where the couple sits down with me and I will be able to determine if their kids would be weirdos or not. I think in the long run this would help the crisis (which would also in the long run make me lose most of my material but im sure I will find something to fill the gap). So if anyone knows anyone seriously dating please send them my way. Thanks a lot.

PS - over 200 hits on the website

$36 and counting

New Hobbie

I am ridding the 5 borough bike tour (Ta can I borrow your bike) for camp HASC. To raise money I made a website (during management class). So please visit and if you want you can donate runchaimrunbikes.info

rumbles is ready to rumble

Can Run Chaim Run Bike?

Due to my new found skill of Creating Websites (Yismichu.org) I can buy the web address runchaimrunbikes.info for $.89. I will sign up for the HASC five borough bike ride and raise the required $350. Good Idea or Not?

Chaim, were counting down the minutes until Thursday Night! Bas

Cruel and Unusual Punishment

I am not 100% accurate if this story is true being that I was in the bathroom stall while it happened but using my great "Gemara Cup" I think I was able to put the story together. SOmeone went into the stall next to me looked and then left. Next thing I knew he goes gets a bunch of paper towels and then sits down in the stall. I dont think I need to explain the rest of the story.

True Stories from the Pittsburgh Science Center (part 1 of many)

(there was a lobster flipped over and Sara was the person working for the Science Center (No not that sara from Pittsburgh for all of you who remember her))

Chaim G: Excuse me ma'am, there is a lobster stuck on its back

Sara: Don't worry, he does it all the time

Chaim G: You know it only takes one time for him to die.

Sara: Im sure nothing is going to happen to him, and either way I don't have the key to open the tank to flip him over.

Chaim G: One time my brother was locked in his room and I was able to pick the lock. If you want I'll give it a try (I preceded to take out my Yalmuka clip and show it to her)

Sara: Dont Worry about it, worse come to worse we will just by a new one if this one dies

Chaim G: You know, Im pro Life (I am not sure if you understand how funny a line this is. It is a reference to the abortion debate of either being pro abortion (pro choice) or anti (pro life).)

Sara: (A long look of confusion) I'll see what I can do (and walks away)

Chaim G: (still did not crack a smile while the five NCSYers with him proceeded to gush how funny and cool I am and how they now want to be shomer negiah)

More coming soon

looking foward to meeting that special someone

In keeping with the Jacobowitz tradition, Mc the kids and I are looking foward to meeting the "next girl in line" when we come in, We hope shes atleast 3 years older then u. Chaim, we just wanted to give you a little advance notice.

my teeth hurt

i got on my invisalign today. while they kill they happen to be very cool. i tried taking a pic of them on my cell to send to chaim and mikey you cant really even tell that they are there so i didnt send it.

Too funny

I get a text today saying "you find me a chavrusa yet". I respond "who is this". He responds "O i just wanted to make a follow up - sunday you were out of your mind and told me you wanted to get me a chavrusa and said you could get me into Shaalvim". I guess I had a real impact on the Jewish Youth this purim.

I still don't know who it is. If anyone knows who 516-993-6708 please let me know. Thanks.

Mazel Tov

Mazel Tov Charles. Welcome to the ranks of Grosses that work gratis. We wish you much hatzlacha in your new position and we are confident that you'll bring much creativity and flair to your new position. Remember - It's about the OU not U!

Pearl

purim

ok here is a video of the kids by purim seudah and a picture of all of them in there costumes.

I am alive and well

BH I had an amazing Purim. Highlights include throwing snowballs at people making drunk phone calls, Hanging out with Rabbi Cohen's Grandparents for two hours, and Great Kumzitz by Rabbi Storch. I wish I can elaborate but you know what they say. Whatever happens in Purim stays in Purim.

MC can hold his liquor

MC really suprised the olam this Purim! He drank but w/in limits. Im very proud of him!

Missing

has anyone seen chaim gross???? do we think he is asleep on rabbi storch's floor? on other news. purim was nice. my kids were cute, they had a blast at purm seudah. they are still talking about the tricks uncle mikey did for them on bubbys front steps. my husband made it without throwing up. can anyone else say the same?

The Interview

On a scale of one to Purim I would give it a Tu B'Av.

purim message from the schachar children

The North Polica Rebba ... And his mishpacha

Amen Rally

Their will be a large Amen Rally held at 2:00 on thursday so that Chaim has a good interview at the OU. If you are unable to say Amen to other peoples Brachos then you can say tehillim but Amen's would be more preferable.

Thanks for participating

Chaim G

From The Jacobowitz's

Have a Bur"BERRY" meaningful Purim.

Best Idea Ever

I go to stern. I bring a guitar. I sing (yes I sing) and play guitar on the corner outside one of the main buildings. I keep my guitar case open with a sign on it "for phone numbers only" and put a few scraps of paper in there with fake phone numbers already so people get the idea. What do you think?

PS - The baby from columbia is getting released tomorrow morning and they found new foster parents.

ballet

chavi starts ballet again today. she LOVES it. the problem is is that it starts and ends while rumbles is usually down for a nap. [hence chaim is a champ when he is home and can watch my boys]. so now it is 917 class doesnt start till 1030 and rumbles is a disaster but i need to keep him up so i can take her. ahhhhh soooo annoying. you know who would look fabulous in a tutu? RL

Its not such a secret

I am looking for an internship this summer, and it is not going so well. As a result I called up mindy asking if I can be her intern this summer. She sounded pretty into the idea and thats what the posts were about. BUt on a more serious note I have an interview with the OU soon for an internship so please keep your fingers crossed.

Simchas HaChaim

RL licking the beater from my bluberry muffin batter.

internship

i am looking for an intern this summer. is anyone available?

Burberry

Just wanted to share my shalochos manochos idea. Chaim i need u to come up with a catchy slogan. I am putting thing with "berrys: inside

Party in Columbia (the hospital not the drug capital of the world)

I got a phone call if I can watch a six month year old down syndrome kid in the hospital overnight. I was a little worried being that he had down syndrome he would most likely be verbal. I do not work well with verbal kids. Then I had an epiphany, he is only six months old - NO CHANCE HE CAN SPEAK. So I agreed to watch him and I will be pulling an all nighter in the hospital tonight. If anyone gets bored (yes you batya) , or rumbles wakes up please give me a call. Ill let you know how it goes. Good night all.

Warm Happy Birthday Wishes

Thank you everyone for all your warm birthday wishes for Esther P.

Chaim, we really appreciated your Birthday card.

LOST

Batya's birthday card for me must have gotten lost in the mail being that i still have not gotten one. If anyone sees it let me know.

PS - Mindy sent me a really nice one with a heartwarming picture and message

No orange soup this shabbos

We're going to aunt sharon for shabbos so i wont get to call the olam. Good shabbos from the J's.

A ha'arah by Chaim G

Yeshivish people love when it snows. They wait all year to be black, white, and sneakers, preferably a white sneaker so it can stand out as much as possible. Now the question is how much snow does there still have to be for them to keep wearing sneakers. All the sidewalks and streets are plowed and if I wanted to I can walk around barefoot without my feet getting wet, but they're still out there proudly wearing their white sneakers. May we be zocheh to many more snow days. AMEN.

PS - there were a lot of "their (there, they're)"s in this post and I think I got them all correct. I have grown so much in college.

snow day part 2

my kids have off. they love the snow. the problem is that it is a little to deep for them so they only lasted a few minutes outside. fyi, according to 1010wins woodmere and floral park got the most snow on long island, over 16 inches.

Twins

FreeCBY

Chaim....calm down. I forgot to sigh off of my father in laws gmail name. No, David Jacobowitz is not expecting. bassie j aka freecby

We have an infultrator

We have a new member to the blog and I have no clue who this is.

Clues: He/She has two kids

He/She is not pregnant but if they were they would want

to share the news with us on the blog

He/She has posted also on Tzvee's Talmudic Blog

He/She might live in teaneck and cby stand for

Congregation Bnei Yeshurin

But this is all just speculation. Does anyone else have any clues?

You know your in kollel when....

When ur daughter asks to put on her jacket when its time to go to sleep.

Enjoy the snow!

4:54 am

that is what time yosef entered my room this morning. i think he has jet lag. he has only slept past 6am twice in the past 3 weeks. anyone want him? he is a great cuddler and is actually ridiculously cute when he wakes up.

516 712 8939

I fell asleep while listening to a shiur on my laptop (so frum and sooooooooo Modern Orthodox) and was woken up by a phone call. I did not have the number so instead let it go to voicemail. Needless to say they did not leave a voicemail and I had to call back (who knows maybe it was a 30 year old very shiach girl). No one picked up and I wasnt going to leave a message if she didn't. 20 minutes later I get a call and the following ensued:

Chaim: Hello

Anonymous phone caller: Hi who is this?

Chaim: Its chaim G (yes that is how i introduced myself)

Anonymous phone caller: Im sorry sir you dialed the wrong number.

And she hung up. I WAS SUPPOSED TO SAY THAT TO HER. You cant blame your mess up on me. You dialed the wrong number. So if anyone is bored please call her and let her know my feelings.

PS - As I was finished posting this the maccabeats finished having practice. You know that annoying kid in high school that walks around singing, its 20 of them (the only thing more annoying is a yeshiva filled with them) . Good night team

The Census

I was randomly chosen out of all the YU students to participate in the YU census. The questionare consisted of the usual do you speak english in your home and how many fathers may you possibly have. Then towards the end it started to get exciting, they tried to figure out your average income. They asked all the usual question but they forgot to ask about one major source of income, TATTI. They didnt mention anything about the income you receive from your father. What do they think, money grows on trees? I guess they are just kind of old fashion.

PS - As a result my income for the past year ended up being $0.00

It's keeping me up at night

It's 1:50 in the morning and I'm trying to go to sleep and I cant because I haven't found out in more then two weeks what Batya is having for dinner on friday night. Are we going to go for Orange soup for an eighth week in a row? How about unstuffed Cabbage that mommy made in the summer? Are we going to have shnitzel or chicken on the bone?

Will we ever know?

Farkush in Yesh

new wife: come honey, lets go buy gefilta fish?
farkush: ha ha ha (carpathian laugh) ve dont buy fish, ve catch fish
New wife: o.k., so lets then go to to chicken counter
farkush: why go to the chicken counter, theres some "fresh" chicken sitting on our counters

Bemes, I saw him shopping with his wife. I did a 360 degree turn to see him. If you dont know what a 360 degree turn in just check a Chaim G at the YU seforim sale. Im realy not sure if it was him..... I just wanted s/t to blog about.

Gtg pick up Roch from Gan.

bassie j

Another Movie Idea

Seemingly these days im filled with good ideas. This one is called "SHOPPING AT THE YU SEFORIM SALE, not everyone comes to pick up seforim". It will be an undercover documentary of the inner workings on trying to pick up a girl at the YU seforim sale. But wait, how do you know there are going to be girls there. You see thats the beauty of YU. They pay girls to hang out in the Seforim Sale "they say they work there but im not buying it". Does anyone think this can turn into a summer internship?

Shidduch Crisis

Chaim, if it doesnt work out with you, theres always Mikey.

My Bashert

Here are just some fun facts about my future bashert. Batya I'm sorry I'm not dating yet but since it sounds so promising I think Mommy and Ta should pay you in advance.

1. She is 4 years older then me

2. She ran a 15 minute pace in the miami half marathon I ran a 8 minute pace

3. Quote from mindy "We have a lot of friends in common"

4. She might be older then Moshe Chaim (but no one is older then Moshe Chaim)(maybe they can have a combined 40th)

5. I will single handedly end the age gap and the shiduch "crisis" as a whole with this marriage

Dont worry there will be an announcement (and probably a video) when I start dating for real.

purim update

ma bought chavi a minnie mouse costume that we are calling a lady bug. chavi is pumped. i found a conductors costume for yos who is very excited. he called everyone today to tell themthat he is gonna drive the train. i am hoping rumbles will fit into yos's bekashe. we shall see. adam is gonna be a yeshiva man and i am going to be a tierd mommy.
on other purim news, i already have my shalach manos supplies. i tihnk this is the first time i have stuff pre rosh chodesh adar. so im proud of myself.
if anyone is around sunshines bday party in school is next wednesday.

I have money signs in my eyes

I have the best shidduch for Chaim G.

Chaim must not be intrested in companionship -either am I.

Batya J

Shloshim Yom Lifnay Hachag

There is a Jewish custom that one is supposed to immerse themselves in the laws of a given holiday 30 days before that holiday. The Goar Aryeh (i think) says the importance of Tu B'shvat is just that it is 30 days before purim. So being that we are within 30 days, I think it is time to start thinking about purim costumes. I was thinking about going as the Teffilin Bomber this year. Any other ideas?

20 hours left

the countdown has begun. dont get me wrong i love my childrena nd bh this week was 1000 times better then last years winter break. but i am glad it is over. i would also like to point out that since my kids are going to charedi schools next year they dont get winter break!!!!! they get off a long chanukah weekend and long weekend the week before everyone else has off. so this was my last time!!!
a recap of this past weeks events:
adam was sick the whole week with an exception of monday. we went out for our anniversary. [which no one from this family remembered]. the food wasnt good but was nice to get out. tuesday was chavis bday party. very cute, she was glad when it was over. i ended up meeting my in laws and shoshana for dinner in the city tuesday nite. i needed t get out to keep my sanity. wednesday was supposed to be mall/ picture day. but yos came down with fever and i ended up going with chavi alone. we went to the disney store and took pics of her since she wanted to and i had a coupon [i will post the results as soon as they email thme to me]. thursday it what we would like to call just shoot me bc i am going to lose my mind. yos woke the whole house up at 345 bc he was burning with fever. bh rumbles went rite back to sleep. yos ended up in my room and finally fell back asleep at 450 chavi didnt fall back asleep till 530. yos went to the dr int he morning and he has strep so i was stuck in the house all day with all 3 kids, a sick husband and no julie [more on that saga another time]. bh we went to my in laws for shobbos bc the walls of my house are closing in on me.
ok thats it from here. looking forward to everyone returning home in the next few hours.

I hate Tu B'Shvat

What is the point of Tu B'shvat. The Holiday is a zionist ploy just to boost the economy to sell bukar to unsuspecting school children. I remember every year HALB's women league would come and give out goodie bags for Tu B'shvat. They were the worst goodie bags ever, if you were lucky you would get a sunkist in your bag. I am going to listen to a shiur now on the "holiday" and I will let everyone know if my opinion changes but until then we are not celebrating Tu B'shvat in the heights this year.

PS - I love the YU seforim sale, more to follow on this later

A moving Birthday

I hate birthdays. You have to tell people it is your birthday just so they can say HAPPY BIRTHDAY. (I have also been getting a lot of text, there is the no frills happy birthday, the overly excited HAPPY BIRTHDAY, the tons of exclamation points happy birthday!!!!!!! and so much more). This year I thought it would be no different but for some reason it is. I dont know if someone just sent out a group email behind my back or something else but a lot of people are remembering this year. Not that I am one to need my ego built up anymore, but its nice for some reason when you get the random happy birthday email. SO, i would like to express hakaros hatov to all those who called me for my birthday and just letting the olam know for some reason birthdays matter, so remember them.

PS - Im going to the seforim sale tonight, maybe ill get a "special" birthday present

Happy B-Day Chaim J

On behalf of The Gross Family Blog, we would like to wish the rosh bolg, Chaim Gross, a happy birthday. Ad nayeh v'asrim.

My Resume

Today I had my meeting with the Career Development center. They said I had to make a Resume. Here is my practice.

HASC - I prefer non-verbal campers because they cant talk back to you. There was a joke in camp on who had a shorter attention span chaim's campers or chaim. Went there three summers and am still single, Is it great that I went there three summers or is it nebach because I went there three summers and am still single

Camp Stone - No it has nothing to do with drugs

DRS - Was a honors roll student and did not participate in any extra curricular activities.

Yeshiva University - Attended for college and had way too much fun for it to be considered college. One of the few and proud to say he went there. Is a failure because he wants to get a Job but can still out learn my brother in laws under the table (bring it)

am I missing anything?

HALB TRIP - for those of us that cant make it

I think there should be a HALB trip for all of us stuck in america while our families are partying it up in israel (Me, Steven Genachowski, Elliot Samuels, and im sure much more) . On friday night we will go to a hotel in the city. We will daven in Bnei Yeshurin at "the wall" (for those of you not fimiliar they have a full size picture of the kosel with a fake gate around it in the shul (if you want just ask Moshe Chaim)) and then walk to our hotel for a catered friday night dinner. We will have one of the recently back from Israel kids give the Dvar torah followed by Eli Hagler making announcments with corny jokes (we will also bring some parents to laugh hysterically at the jokes). Then we will go to sleep and out of nowhere will appear hundreds of boys and girls to Hock in the lobby all through the night. Shabbos day we will have a normal nice meal and then by shalosh shoodas Eli will get up saying "nisht shabbos geret, this is our plans for the entire week". We will make a communal havdalah then head back to the heights.

Can you please pass this on to Richie.

YU Seforim Sale

Not only a "seforim" sale.

I think im ready to start dating

Today I had the most grown up day of my life (I was going to write productive but I learnt the hard way that that isnt always true). I met with academic advising about what I should Major and Minor in and also the Career Development Center about summer internships this summer. (Great Mayseh: When I was in Academic Advising a saw a lady staring me down (I had no clue who it was) and she came over and introduced herself as Heidi Fuchs (pronounced few ooks) and said she didnt recognize me with my beard. I explained to her it is for Manuary and Prostate cancer awareness (yes that is why Moshe Chaim and Adam have beards also) (you guys should be happy I didnt hear about Movember where you grow out your mooostach). ) YADA YADA YADA - I still dont know about my major, my minor, or what Im doing this summer. But i really am becoming a real person

PS - How can I put my movies on a resume?

Beis Yisroel Catering

Adam, Mindy, Chaim....just wanted to make you jealos.

Beis Yisroel. We put the "hei" in "hemish."
(don't worry thats not really there slogan, they dont know what the word slogan means.)

I dont know what title to use.... maybe the.....no......

As we (Me, Mommy, Batya, Ruch, and Perchei) were walking to go excange money Batya told us what she hates most that parents do: "I hate how parents bribe their kids with food, it just drives me crazy." 5 minutes later when we came to the exchange place Ruch started crying, and having a tantrum. "OK hold on Ruch, Batya then went to the store next door and got her a lollipop. WAIT! TIMEOUT! IS THIS CONSIDERED BRIBING!? "Mikey don't post this on the blog really, it's different I wasn't really "bribing" her. Later Ruch had another tantrum, and I told her if she keeps crying Mommy will get you an ice coffee. (PLEASE NOTE: Batya let me post this eventually)

charles

i thought that chaim had so much free time bc it was reading week then vacation. apparently he just has to much free time. the kids get to wear pajamas to school tomorrow. why you may ask. b/c it seems king paroh ran around looking for moshe in the middle of the night. and what was he wearing, thats right follks, his pajamas. iyh pics to follow.

Website Idea

Its called SpotTheSweatshirt.com. Its for that time that you are in California on vacation just hanging out with some friends and out of nowhere you spot a HASC sweatshirt. You go and take a picture and put it on the website. Its a good way to connect new and old HASC staff.

For Example:

Type: Green sweatshirt/Blue Writing

Year:2003

Location: Second Floor of the new Beis Medrash YU

Story: Just going to learn a little between classes and there he was. When he turned around I took the picture with my phone and ran away, hopefully unnoticed.

If only I can do this for a living

The Rosh has returned

Baruch Hashem Im feeling a lot better. I have started to be able to keep down food and a result have been drinking blue powerade. You can imagine what color my doodie is, I feel like I ate Cookie Monster with a side of smerfs. Im not sure what I am going to be doing for shabbos so if anyone has any ideas let me know.

Refuah Shelama

On behalf of all the members of the Gross Family Blog we would like to wish a Refuah Shelama to the Rosh Blog, Chaim G. Chaim, our thoughts are prayers are with you.

Life is funny: A True Story(s) written by: Mikey Gross

Over the past day and a half life has been funnier then ever, I share with you today 3 true (and funny) stories of my life:
1. On the way to the airport mommy popped in her new AVRAHAM FRIED, LIVE IN ISRAEL! CD. An oh so inspiring song about doing chessed, and midos tovos was playing, and mommy, and Chaim decided that it would be a good idea to start dancing, naturally I told them to stop, because they were being extremely embarrassing, and someone was bound to see them. surely enough the person in the car next to us saw them, and...... started dancing also. Mommy was extremely embarrassed.

2. Once we took our stuff out of the taxi when we got to Israel, (pleasee note we were dropped off on the sidewalk in front of the Inbal, becuase that's a very important part of the story) a bell hop came outside and starting putting our stuff on the cart, we then told him that we weren't staying at the hotel, and we needed our stuff back.

3. After that akward moment, a taxi cab pulls up, and asks where we need to go, he didn't really speak english, and we had to explain to him that we weren't going anywhere. well thats what you get for being in a "prime location".

Yosemite

A film from our trip, hope you enjoy:

you know you are a parent...

when 2 out of 3 of your kids have vomited in a 36 hour period and you have to clean them up. wait, its gets better. yos decided to throw up at 11:15 last nite. which means we had to clean him up, clean up the bedroom floor [in 2 different spots] and change the linen in the dark!!! geshmak!! but bh everyone seems to be feeling better. my fingers are crossed on rumbles.

preparations are underway for visiting day

The kids soaked in the bath for two hours and then I brought in my chizzel to get the dirt out underneath roch's neck. I flossed my teeth. M.C. took out a couple of seforim and put them on the table to make it seem like hes learning (really the reverse occured.) The floor is swept. Rochels got all her lines down. Cant wait for unlce mikey and bubby to come.

wow!

i really haven't blogged for a while! nothing much is going on in my life except for that i just broke up with my girlfriend (Mindy would have already known that, if i was friends with her on Facebook, but she keeps on ignoring me). excited to go to israel, cant wait to see ruch ruch, but i figured out a good way to get her to speak to me, i came across this when i was talking to batya a few days ago...........

me: can i say hi to ruch?

B: ya hold on..... ruch come say hi to uncle mikey

Ruch: (in the backround) no! (then she made that weird whining sound which i cant imitate through words)

B: mikey, rochel leah doesn't want to talk to you

me: then tell her uncle mikey isn't bringing you ice coffee

ONE SECOND LATER.....

Ruch: huh hah huh hah huh hah (large breathing sound in the phone)

Mikey

Will you eat my leftovers Sunday night for dinner? (considering that they arent really leftovers for you.) If not i can make you my world famous "yeshvish whole wheat challah french toast"!
Debbie- your invites tuesday night for sunday nights left over "yeshivish whole wheat challah french toast"
Batya j

adams haara

i was just catching adam up on this weeks blog. he said that if there is anything we can learn from the blog is that Batya is by far the funniest person in the family [this is in refrence to her miami boys choir line]. sorry boys.

Linen Sharing

Ta, Mommy and I are making plans about next shabbos. Ma and Ta want to get MC and I a hotel room. I told Ma that she and Ta should stay in a hotel room and MC and I will sleep (happily) in the new dira. Mommy said that the only problem would be that she would need to switch the linen. I said that it wouldnt be a problem and MC and I cant wait to sleep on Ma and Ta's linen. But then she responded but then after shabbos she would need to change it because MC and I slept on the linen. Would you be insulted?

Can I do this full time?

I think i want to be a professional hiker. All I need to do is put on a southern accent and be very nice. Im not sure how all these people make money just hiking but they have to or else they wouldnt be able to hike everyday. If that doesnt work I want to make a kollel called Kollel Bachutz, where we learn about Hashem through the nature around. (if it just seems like hiking all day, your not too far off). Got to go learn something.

Good Night Team

I still exist

Despite my apsence from the blog i want to let everyone know i still exist. we got to Yosemite around 5 and set up shot. Start cooking meat and setting up the Internet (is there anything else to life). We had taco night and baked potatos (no utensils required). We then proceeded to go to the hot tub in the back on the cliff of the mountain (gishmak). BH good times all around.

Eli and Avital

While at Eli's chassunah I asked MC if he liked me as much as Eli likes Avital. The answer was No.

Batya j

Chaims Alive!

Spoke to chaim at 2:35 am NY time. He seems great. Willing to bet that chaim end up marrying a girl from Oakland, CA. Were having four bachrum tonight and three disabled girls for lunch. Esther slept through the night last night (al tiftach peh l'satan) Good shabbos to all.

The Jacobowitz's

connectors

the following converstion took place around the breakfast room this morning.

chavi : tatti why do you have two beards

a: what do u mean

c: points to mustache then points to his chin

a: b/c some people arent lucky enough to have connectors

Yosef Siach Yitzchak Prep

A few days ago I had the pleasure of babysitting Yosef before his Talmud Torah Siach Yitzchak (its as Charadei as they get here in the Five Towns) interview. I decided to take it upon myself to get him ready for the interview. These video tapes are the real thing. Little did I know we would have so much in common.

chaim seems bored

Hi my name is Chaim Gross and I am addicted to the Library

Have you ever got that feeling, just wishing you can go back to simpler more fun times. Well I wish I can go back to the YU Library during study week. It puts the gush in Gushmak. I always know where my friends are (in the library). I always had someone to talk to. I always had a girl that I had to speak to because we went to camp hasc together. I always had a couple to spy on. I always had something to blog about. I was always doing something, plotting something, something something. It mamish was bechinas Camp Hasc (in a high functioning bunk). Only 112 more days to reading week of next semester. (the number is made up, its just a joke that i am counting down to reading week next semester already).

Nothing to blog about

I mamish have nothing to say. I lost my cell phone and my credit card (got the credit card back, but if anyone sees my phone it says captain on the back). I still dont have a love interest in my life. Im still modern orthodox (ewwwww). Little did I know the depression I would go through after having to leave the YU library. Hopefully tomorrow will be a little bit more exciting.

Aufruf house

This shabbos I was at an Aufruf. (No way, you were at an aufruf that never happens.) The aufruf was very nice, and so was the house we stayed at. The highlight of the house was the second floor bathroom had a urinal and the second I set my eyes on it, I knew I had to use it . The special moment came after lunch, I went for it, was successful and flushed. So it flushed and continued to flush and then flushed some more. I BROKE THE URINAL. Who breaks a urinal? The son came upstairs (must have heard me laughing uncontrollably) and started banging the handle saying this happens every time. After five minutes of banging and me trying to make awkward conversation the toilet stopped flushing. I didnt think there can be any downside to having a urinal in your house (its a lot harder to miss in a urinal then a toilet (talking about aiming, when is Yosef being toilet trained (he is going to be the worst aimer))). Iyh in my house i will have a urinal. AMEN.

This convo took place over 35x in the J house over shabbos.....

RL: Bubby Zeide Coming
BJ: No
RL: Not yet
BJ: Not yet
RL: Oh

btw, ester p has 104

gut voch, bassie j

Courtesy of google translator

DoudHHodder wrote: Ideas and theories, your call to precede action, but there is more noble than the ideas or theories of - - so deep but so true

I always knew we would have international appeal (I know its corny, I couldn't help myself). But on the topic of corny, at the end of my Five Megillot (yes its megilloT) essay i wrote "Sorry for writing you a whole megillah. Just thought you should know.