Shalom.
Birshus,
Mrs Fay, Mr. Dave, I know Bubby Hannah would have loved to be here to hear me
speak, you know she always loved me.
My
name is Chaim. I am Daniels best friend.
I
have a tradition for speaking at aufrufs. It’s a very simple format. You come
up with the perfect movie that summarizes yours and the Chassons relationship.
Compare them. Connect it to a Dvar Torah. Say a bracha that hopefully makes his
mother cry. And call it a day.
Its
normally not the easiest speech to write, especially nowadays that I am working
full time, I get extra time, and am engaged (Mrs. Fay, registered at crate and
barrel and bed bath and beyond.
So
I went onto Google and just searched for “movie summaries” I was really going
out on a limb. The third one I read was for toy story. This is how Toy Story
was described “A toy named Woody has it all. He is practically the leader in
Andy's toy room, Bo Peep has the hots for him, and most importantly, he is
Andy's favorite toy. But when the clocks strike Andy's birthday, a new toy
arrives. Buzz Light year, a space cadet who thinks he is a space ranger, (not a
toy in a room) and instantly wins over Andy. Woody tries to kill him and an
adventure in the real world ensues.”
Here I am, went to HALB
my entire life and in my eyes it didn’t get much cooler than the short dorky
kid from far rockaway who stopped watching power rangers two years after
everyone else. In my eyes I was Woody, and it didn’t get much better than
Woody. And then in third grade comes this kid from HAFTR and steals thunder. He
freakin had shaky eyes. Why would anyone wanna hang out with the Cow Boy from
Far Rockaway when you can hang out with the space cadet who had shaky eyes.
I had nothing left. I
knew what I had to do. The same thing Woody did. I had to kill him.
Actually I had a
suspicion he would try to pull a move like this. I started to plot against him
when I think he was 5. It was erev tisha bav and Daniel was standing near the
table with his mother so I spilled the coffee on him. He had to go to the hospital,
fay had to mop the floor, but I was not successful.
So Daniel’s in HALB, 5th
grade, and we were playing suicide (sewer side). The ball goes all the way back
and Daniel Volunteers to throw it. He winds up, throws it, and it doesn’t even go
within a mile of the wall. Im not sure if everyone here knows how to play, but
(explain the game). So he is running as fast as he can to hit the wall before he
gets pegged and I see my perfect opportunity. I stick out my foot, trip him.
Again I failed, hospital visit, stitches in his chin, still alive and kicking.
After 6th
grade I decide I need a break from this kid so I go to camp stone. After 7th
grade guess who follows me. So were dancing on our way from the Beit Kinneset
to the Chador Ochel and he is on Harrison’s back. I jump out of the bushes, punch
Harrison in the stomach, he drops Daniel, Daniel goes to the hospital. Nothing
Happens.
Keep in mind I am
skipping many minor injuries, doctor visits and hospital stays, these are just
the highlights.
I think my second best
attempt was when I hid behind the tree while you were ATVing. I think it was in
10th grade, you got thrown off, and needed a cane. Who the heck
needs a cane in 10th grade. How the heck are you still alive.
Daniel is not the
only one who wont die. It is brought down in the Gemara that Yaakov didn’t die.
What does it mean that Yaakov didn’t die? The hafla and the Baal Shem Tov both
bring down how Yaakov is the first of the Avos to be connected with Torah
learning. Yaakov is described as an ish
yoshev ohalim meaning that he would sit and learn torah. Even if Yaakov
himself might have died in this weeks parsha, by way of his torah he was able
to live on forever.
Baruch Hashem
despite go kart accidents, alpine slides, numerous car crashes, (this list just
goes on and on and on) Daniel is still with us.
Woody and Buzz
Lighyear have their ups and their downs, but at the end they become best
friends.
Daniel my Bracha,
is that you should become a talmid chacham, build a bayis neman bi’yisrael and
have a long happy marriage, to infinity and beyond.
Mazel Tov
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